Jessica and Rob had talked about getting another dog for years. Unfortunately they were living with us and in the process of building their own home. When they had their second child and moved into their new home, they again discussed getting a puppy. I did everything in my power to discourage them from getting one. And this is why.
10 years ago, if you had asked me my feelings about dogs and children growing up together, I would have said why not! I would get very angry at shelters and rescues when they had a “no child less than 10 “policy. I would shake my head in disbelief when talking to prospective adoptee, who where turned down again and again because of small children. This was before I had the experience of having a toddler and dogs living under the same roof. My family and I were unfamiliar with the day to day interactions between toddlers and dogs. The only experience I had was from the students I have trained. I know dog behavior, but it is one thing reading and observing from afar, and another living it day to day.
Because of the natural behaviors of children and those of dogs, stress, conflict and injury is common. You will find many of the dogs in rescues are there because of normal dog behaviors that were not dealt with properly as puppies. People have preconceived ideas of how a dog should act and do not take into consideration, breeding, environment or training.
Back to Jess and Rob.
They didn’t heed my advise, and started the process of deciding which breed to get.
“We want an American Bulldog”
I responded with, “What are you nuts? Why do you want a bully breed?”
“Rob wants a real dog.”
“Why don’t you get another Jack? There are so many in rescues”
“Rob wants a big dog”
“How about a Brittany?” Having two myself, they make wonder family pets
“We don’t want a lot of hair, and Rob doesn’t like them”
“But if you get a bully rescue, there will be a high percentage of getting one with behavioral problems and many are mixed with Pit. (Nothing against pit bulls, just not around my grandkids.) If you go to a breeder, you’ll pay 1,500.00. Why don’t you wait till I breed Betsy?” My female bitch that comes from a very long, good line. “You won’t even have to pay for a pup! “ Feeling like I’m loosing the battle, I think of a compromise. “How about a Boxer?”
“We want an American Bulldog.”
Weeks pass by:
“Ok, so I think I talked Rob out of an American Bulldog.” I breathe a sigh of relief and stop envisioning my grand daughters head in a Bulldogs mouth.
“Were going with a Mastiff”. My relief is short lived.
“Jess, do you know how big they get? Poor S is going to get knocked around and E is afraid of big dogs.”
“But their gentle giants”
“I understand, but their 150 pound giants. What about a Boxer, or a Brittany? They really are sweet dogs” As Betsy calmly sleeps with her head in my lap. “And you can go to Boxer or Brittany rescue. “ Hoping to persuade my son in law with the money angle “Mastiffs are so expensive.”
More weeks pass by:
“Ok, so we’re not going to get a Mastiff. I talked Rob out of getting a huge dog. He said we could go with a Jack if I want to, but I’m going to look for a boxer.”
“Yeh!” I know Boxers are an active breed, but I’ve dealt with a lot of them through clients and family, and with good training they make wonderful pets.
“So when are you going to start looking?”
“I already have. I put in applications with boxer rescue. I saw a really cute boxer mix. Do you want to go to south Jersey with me? And I have an appointment on Sunday to see another mix at xxxxxrescue, but they want the whole family there. What do I do, E is away with Pop pop. Do I wait till Monday, but then it may be gone, and they won’t hold a dog and blah blah blah, blah, blah.” Her words started to blend into each other.
Two days later:
“We’re not going to south Jersey. The lady hasn’t emailed me back, and she won’t return my calls.”
“What about Boxer Rescue? Did you check out the ones I forwarded to you?”
“You can’t have small kids and I have to have a physical fence and the ones you sent me are all older!”
“Their only a year or so”
“I want a puppy”
“Well, you’re looking at that pup on Sunday. You really don’t want a Brittany pup?”
The next day:
“I’m going to look at that Boxer puppy at the pet store” We had seen the boxer in the store while shopping for something else.
“Jess, first of all, they want 800.00 for it. It’s a male, and you know it’s a puppy mill puppy”
We both have very strong opinions on the whole puppy mill industry as I’ve said before. Although the puppies kept at this store are very well taken care of, and clean, but when asked where they came from we received two different answers from the owners. One said local. Local being Pa. Pa. being the puppy mill Mecca of the East coast the other said states out west and south.
That afternoon:
“Let’s go to the shelters” So we headed off to the local pound, which ended up being not so local and we got lost on the way. I was actually quite surprised and impressed by the cleanliness and condition of the shelter once we did find it. When we introduced our selves, I highly expected to be drilled, patted down, and told the “child” had to wait outside. Not so. We were directed to the kennel entrance and mingled with the other prospective adopter’s. As I looked into each dogs eyes, my heart skipped a beat. Everyone seemed to be saying “please take me home”. It reminded me, that I will never give up on my “problem child” ( trainers get many of those), I will have all my dogs micro chipped and licensed, and I will make provisions for my pets before I die. As we walked out of the shelter empty handed, there was a young man saying good bye to a dog. His dog? A dog he may or may not take home? I don’t know, but my heart broke in two
As we got in the car Jess said,
“Let’s go to the pet store where the boxer puppy is.” I agree, just to get my mind off of those soulful eyes.
“Oh my god he is so cute”
“They are all cute, and he’s already 12 weeks old.”
Jess asks how much, the owner says 550.00. No health guarantee, no idea about parents, and no return.
“Rob will never let you spend that much”
“I’m calling him”. As she pleads to him for the 550.00, I can hear his reaction on the other end. Besides being in a meeting, he will not spend that kind of money right now. I think to myself, Thank-god.
Jess makes it quite obvious to the owner that gee, hubby will not go for it. Is there anyway she could go lower. The owner holds fast. It cost her 400.00 for the dog. She has to make some money.
“But he’s already 12 weeks old!”
She would not budge.
As we walked out the store, Jess disappointed and ready to debate with Rob that night, I think to my self, that puppy is already 12 weeks old what will happen to him when he is too old to be sellable.
John Q, do you see the vicious cycle? Legit breeders are to expensive, rescues no longer euthanize “non” adoptable dogs, rescue from out of state, have an over abundance of dogs, but yet extremely stiff with adoption rules. Potential owners turn to pet shops out of frustration or impulse, large majority of those dogs become rescues.
I know some of my feelings seem contradictory. Understand, I am coming from a professional trainer’s point of view and a parent who wants to see her child happy. This is a real moral dilemma.
The next day:
“You’re right mom. I can’t do it. I couldn’t sleep all night. I even belong to an Anti-puppy mill organization.”
“Jess, I’m proud of you. I know it’s hard when you want something so bad, but you need to think with your head and not your heart. That is why those places are in business. Besides, wouldn’t you rather see your money go to a rescue?’
Day 4:
“Did you see the puppy I forwarded to you? The boxer mix and her sister?”
“Yea, I saw them before, their pit mixes.’
“No, they think Mastiff.” Since Jess searched the web every morning and night, she knew every puppy by face and name.
“Penny and QT?” I said
“Yea, wait let me look.” A long pause as she goes through her web “favorites” and up pops the puppies.
“Oh, I think I sent an application to them, but they didn’t answer me.”
Everything is becoming a blur. Phone calls, emails, call backs, no call backs. She immediately sends another email to the rescue.
1 hour later:
“She called me and we talked for awhile. She sounds like she really likes us but we’ll have to drive an hour away to their adoption day Saturday at Petco. It starts at 11:00; I want to be there at 10:00. I want to be the first person.”
For some reason, this just felt right. Maybe just wishful thinking?
For two days before the adoption day, Jess was like a new expectant mother. She needs to get a new bed, and toys, and food, and a leash, oh yea, and collar.
“Jess, slow down, you don’t even have the dog, and you don’t know how big she is. Besides, I have a lot of that stuff.” Saturday could not come fast enough.
Saturday- D-day
Jess could hardly contain herself as we pulled into the Petco parking lot at 9:30.
“Jess, their not even here yet.”
“That’s ok, she told me what she eats. We can buy the food and stuff. I want to be the first in line.”
“Jess, remember we have to make sure she’s good with S. She may not even like kids.”
“Yes, I know!” But she wasn’t hearing me.
Lord, please make this work, I can’t take another day.
10:15 people started milling about.
10:30 crates with cats where arriving.
Between 10:30 and 10:45 Jess eyed every person there. Sizing them up and down. Cat person or dog person. Starting casual conversations with the intent of getting information.
“So, are you here for the adoption day?” Innocent enough
“Oh, a cat? “ As she looks away with smile of satisfaction.
“Oh a dog? “ “Did you fill out an application?” “No? I filled mine out days ago. I know what puppies are coming in.”
Jess, why don’t you hold up a big sign saying I’m first, and if you get in my way I’ll run over you!
I took a small walk. When I returned there was a small gathering around an exercise pen. The puppies had arrived. I couldn’t find Jess among the crowd. She was already filling out all the necessary paper work.
My they are cute!
Ok Angel, observe. I watched as the children poked and prodded between the bars. Some where squeezing toys, some where squealing with delight. Adults picked them up, put them down, and picked them up, put them down.
“What do you think?” I turned to see Jess with the woman in charge
“Well I would like to get in there with them and try to do an evaluation”
As I climbed into the pen, curious eyes watched as I methodically picked up one pup at a time. I could see by observation that the pups where not afraid of children. There tails wagged with excitement every time a child coaxed them over. The adults could easily pick them up with no sign of discomfort from the puppy. As I rolled each pup onto her back and held her gently but firmly, the observers became quite. I then lifted each one off the ground facing away from me. QT hung like a limp noodle in my hands while Penny wrestled for freedom. They weren’t jumpers, but a bit mouthy which is normal. I didn’t go any further; I had pretty much made up my mind. Jess looked at me with excited anticipation.
“Well? What do you think?”
“Jess, you know it’s not an exact science.”
“I know, I know, what do you think?”
“I think QT would be best for you guys.”
In the mean time, another older puppy rescue was placed in the pen with QT and Penny. The girls where friendly, but a tag team of two. The older pup was over exuberant with the girls. They became a bit defensive, which started to concern me, but as I continued to watch, QT turned around and quieted down. Penny proceeded to back the new comer into the corner and angrily growled and barked into her face as if to say “Back Off!” Jess and I looked at each other and QT it was.
So what is a puppy evaluation? It is a number of small tests you can give a puppy to get any idea of what kind of temperament they have. This is not an exact science. Age and environment can make a difference with the tests. Some behaviorists think its nonsense. I have used this method with puppy litters from breeders and have been pretty right on. You can find information about these tests on the web or read the book, The Art of Raising a Puppy by the Monks of New Skete. Remember, when choosing a new pup, even an older dog, OBSERVE first. DON’T SAY ANYTHING. Does it come right over to visit, or does it sit in the corner. Is it interested when you move around, make sweet noises, play with toy, or does it ignore you or shy away. OBSERVE how it interacts with the litter mates. Is it a bully, or is it the outsider. These are just a few of the things to look for.
Also, some trainers will assist you with choosing a puppy. Having a third neutral person there, can prevent you from making an impulsive decision. Bring your most level headed friend or family member.
Also, pet shops care about one thing. The bottom line. If they can get you in there to hold that soft, fluffy puppy, they have you sold. The employees have no interest whether that dog goes to the right home or not. I once observed a family playing with a Cocker Spaniel. They asked the young assistant if it would need a lot of grooming. She told them no. It took every ounce of restraint that I had to not barge into that room and set them straight. What other fallacy did she tell these people just to sell the dog?
That brings me to the third and most important piece of advice. EDUCATE yourself. There is tons of information on dog breeds. If you don’t have the web, go to the library, your vet, groomers, and trainers. Dog shows are a great source of information. I have not met a reputable breeder yet who has not been honest or will “sugar coat” their breed. Most will problebly ask more information about you, then you about them.
DAY 1
Jessica had to stop at the register, before we could head out the door with her newly acquired dependant.
“So, how much did you have to donate?’
“350.00, but I get 50.00 back when I get her spayed.”
Why should you get your dog “fixed?” The obvious being we don’t want unplanned breedings. Unfixed animals have a higher level of mood swings. “Bitches” will be in heat for up to 3 weeks. In that time they can get very active, “bitchy” and can get pretty messy. Males can become aggressive, dominant, wander and “mark” your home. Males also have a higher incidence of testicular cancer when older if not neutered.
Dogs do not get fat from being altered. Food and lack of exercise makes dogs fat.
Spaying (female) and Neutering (male) can run you anywhere from 125.00-300.00. depending on the size of the dog. Females of course are usually more expensive. Ideally, you want to have it done before they start maturity, usually at six months of age. You do not want to do females earlier than six months because it can cause complications with their bladder. Males, you want to wait until both testicles drop. If a male has a “retained” testicle, you are looking at a difficult and expensive surgery.
There are spay and neuter programs that work specifically with certain vets. http://www.friendsofanimals.org/ for example. Also, most rescues will have older dogs done before adoption or have some sort of programs set.
“Spay or Neuter your pet!”
“And how much was all the other stuff you got?’
“About 100.00, but she’ll love these toys, and I have to have this pooper scooper and this leash and collar is so cute!”
As I put the new lead and collar on QT, we headed out the store and started our first lessons. Walking on a leash and learning her new name, Amber.
After taking Amber to the vet for a well check, and spending another 100.00 it was time to take Amber home.
